Darren Morris can tell you who shot JR, exactly where JFK hit a spot of bother and point you in the direction of the cemeteries that house Bonnie and Clyde’s graves.
But there’s another question most people who know the ex-Wales and Lions prop usually want answered.
How is it that Morris, who hails from Hirwaun, has ended up coaching rugby in Dallas, Texas?
“It’s a long story,” laughs Morris on the phone from his home. “But I have the travel bug and just love sampling different places and different cultures.
“Before Dallas, I worked in Russia and I’ve also moved about in Britain. I left Wales in 2003 and have barely been home since.
“I guess it’s a case of feeling that you have one life and it’s a big old world out there with quite a bit to see and do.”
Even so, it is a long way from Hirwaun to Dallas — 4,660 miles as the crow flies and light years away in terms of pretty much everything else.
Morris lives just 10 minutes from the Southfork Ranch, where JR Ewing and family were based in the TV series Dallas. If he feels like it, he can venture downtown and visit the spot near the grassy knoll where JFK was shot all those years ago.
Bonnie and Clyde’s graves are in the city, plus many skyscrapers and the Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so big that with the roof closed that the Statue of Liberty could fit into it.
A bit different from the Recreation Ground in Hirwaun, then?
“It is what it is,” says Morris. “There are pluses and minuses wherever you live.
“Hirwaun’s a great place, with a tight community, but of course Dallas is a city and everything takes a bit of getting used to.
“The climate, for instance, is crazy. You can can go from snow in the morning to flip-flops and shorts in the afternoon with clear blue skies and sun.
“In the summer it can get up to 100 degrees fahrenheit. That is a bit hot, to be honest, but at other times it’s brilliant.
“You wake up and you know it’s not going to be grey, wet and dour outside. You can plan to do things outdoors. And the people are fantastic, helpful and genuinely interested in what you are doing.
“The lifestyle couldn’t be much better.”
The rugby is different as well.
Morris is coaching the self-styled biggest rugby club in the USA, the Dallas Reds, the Manchester United of the American game, if you will, albeit that he doesn’t wheelbarrow home Jose Mourinho-style wages.
Yet the sport is still growing in the US and there is no dressing room or clubhouse for Morris’ players.
They get changed pitch-side and head off to their homes for post-match showers.
“There are a lot of things people take for granted in European rugby,” laughs Morris. “We rely on cities to provide us with facilities.
“Where do people get changed for our games? By the side of the pitch. Or, to be precise, they drive to the ground in their kits, play the match and then go home to get showered.
“Of course it would be nice if there were facilities to compare with those in the UK, but there’s a great spirit within the squad and the way it is actually binds the boys together.
“We have Kiwis, Australians and a few British lads in the set-up who drive standards and a core of homegrown players who are really keen to learn. The interest is growing and only this week we had 78 players training.
“The standard isn’t bad. We play in the Red River Conference and some of the games can be great to watch.”
Morris has made an impact in the short time he has been based in Dallas.
He takes time out to try to improve individuals as well as the team and the players are responding to his methods.
Reds wing Kelly Kolberg says: “Darren has brought a lot of what we were missing.
“I have been with the club for 18 seasons but I have learned a huge amount under him. He has brought structure to our game, is very positive and tries to help on a one-on-one basis: the other day he gave me some advice on my breakdown work and it was outstanding.
“He is a good guy to have around.”
Is Morris in America for the long-haul? “That’s the $64 million dollar question,” says the 43-year-old.
“I’m really enjoying it and there is so much that is positive here.
“But I guess you always keep your options open.
“I’ll just see how it goes.
“I have picked up a lot of coaching experience over the years. I worked as a scrum coach for the Russian national team at the 2011 World Cup and then became their forwards coach for a year, working with Kingsley Jones.
“I coached at Hartpury College and also held down a director of rugby job at a full-time club in Russia, taking them to their highest ever position in the league out there.
“I am trying to improve as a coach as I go along and I was fortunate enough to have played under some of the very best in Graham Henry, Steve Hansen and John Plumtree, while I put Darryl Jones and Lyn Jones right up there as well — they coached Neath brilliantly when they won the Heineken League title in 1995-96.
“So I try to take the best of those coaches and add a bit of my own character to make up my own coaching style and outlook.”
A former front rower with the hands of a back, Morris should have won more than the 19 caps he banked as a player. But he did enough to tour with the Lions in 2001, winning a cap in the final Test against Australia, and looks back fondly on his playing days.
“They are memories to savour,” he says.
“You never forget as a 17-year-old walking into a Neath dressing room that contained the likes of Brian Williams, Kevin Phillips, John Davies, Mike Whitson and Gareth and Glyn Llewellyn. It was an exciting time, but daunting as well.
“Who’s the best player I played alongside? I played alongside too many to single out one as being better than the others.
“But I know I enjoyed being part of the Swansea front row with Garin Jenkins and Ben Evans.
“Garin was just a fantastic person to know, old school but someone who went with the times with his rugby. He was a terrific scrummager and on the other side Ben was just an all-round great guy and a more-than-solid set-piece operator.
“I still consider myself fortunate to have played in that Swansea side with the likes of Scott Gibbs, Paul Moriarty, Charv (Colin Charvis), Deano (Dean Thomas) and Lee Jones, an unsung hero at No.8.
“It was a heck of a team.”
Morris seems to be having a heck of a time in Dallas, on the training pitch and off it.
One day he might find his way back home, but, for now, he’s happy where he is.
As the old saying goes, not all those who wander are lost.
